Haileu’s fingertips skimmed through the water. The wooden boat she was on leaked and Haileu was getting anxious rowing out to the middle of the lake. When she did reach the middle, she waited for her anxiety and the waves to subside. To help her anxiety, Haileu looked at the shore at the outline of a small cabin. It was surrounded by trees with leaves of bright reds and greens, and Haileu knew that when it turned to fall, the leaves would turn to shades of purple. Kune had always said that was something he missed from home. Haileu thought about when they had first met; he mentioned those leaves all the time, enough to be an annoyance even. Only the passion in his eyes when he relived that memory was enough for Haileu to endure the tirades. Haileu looked into the shallow boat and grabbed a small metallic silver box, an old paperback novel, and Kune’s favorite pair of Kraka mitts, still in plastic. Haileu ripped open the plastic and tossed the remains back into the boat. Haileu then grabbed and opened the silver box. Inside were pieces of ash, grey and black with bits of white. Haileu bit her lip and began tapping her foot.
“Dammit Kune. Why did you have to leave me here alone?” Haileu asked. Tears filled her eyes. “We were so happy. We were really getting the hang of it. I’m going to…I’m going to miss your smile.” Tears rolled down Haileu’s cheeks. Haileu looked up at the overhead clouds that were turning orange and blue. “I just hope you know how much I loved you. How much I still do. And I don’t know if I can do this alone.” Haileu tried to get air through her nose. “I know you said I would be fine. I can’t believe you even joked about getting rid of the old ball and chain in front of your mother in the hospital. I was mortified.” Haileu’s lip raised into a smile. She looked back at the cabin. Hearing the stories from Kune, she had thought it sounded like a great place to grow up. Kune would always say back to her, “That’s because you didn’t grow up there”.
“Since the funeral, it’s been hard. Your mom and dad stayed with me for a while. Until I could get back up on my feet.” Haileu paused. “I still miss you in the mornings. I miss when you would complain about how cold it was and use it as an excuse to get under my blankets and attack me with your cold hands.”
Haileu inhaled sharply and she managed to get out, “I miss that.” She cleared her throat for this next part. “I was shocked you were so adamant about me throwing your ashes here. You kept saying it “HAD to be by the cabin”.
Maybe he finally wanted to come home, Haileu thought. After living with Kune for years she could tell when he was remembering. Out in the universe Kune acted like he never wanted to remember his past. At home he would stare at an old picture too long on one of the photo screens or stop and watch a program about the history and battles his home world had won and fought. She never brought it up either, but she knew. So, it was surprising that the one and last time she brought up his past they got into a nasty argument. Haileu remembered it was the last argument they ever had. She had asked Kune over and over again, “Why there? Why that lake? And she was met with “I can’t tell you” and ending with a “I just can’t ok”. We hardly ever fought, Haileu thought. Haileu looked at the ashes one more time. Everything she had wanted now lay in dust in this box. The sky was turning darker. Haileu stuck her right arm out over the side of the boat and over the water. She turned the box upside down. The contents scattered onto the water in clumps and some was taken by the wind. Haileu kissed the mitts that smelled of leather and tossed them in. Lastly, the book. I love you, Haileu thought as the book sank. She bit her bottom lip. Haileu picked up her paddles and began paddling back towards the dock. The sky was now off black. Haileu could hear the splashing of the water against the boat. Then she heard something else.
“Haileu,” whispered the water. Haileu’s paddling ended. She checked around the boat. A soft glow was emanating from the water all around her. Haileu leaned closer to the water. Next to the boat Haileu could see the figure of Kune floating, looking as if he was being pulled down and away from her. He called out again, but this time he begged for her. Haileu reached her hand through the water.